hearing voices…

Image“you’re halfway…”, she says.  And I gasp for breath, but keep on going. I have someone new in my life. Before all kinds of strange pictures begin filling your head, let me share. 

A few months ago, Tasha, one of my daughters, said she was doing “C25K”…otherwise known as Couch to 5K. (This is an app you can download on your phone and a lovely female voice will talk you thru workouts for 8 weeks. They begin with minimal running and increase gradually until you are running the equivalent of a 5K at the end.)  And even tho’ I was applauding her for the decision, smiling, clapping my hands and saying, “wow! That’s awesome!” with my mouth, I was scoffing in my head…

“that’s ridiculous! No one can go from not running to running a 5K in 2 months! And really…who would want to!?  You don’t RUN. You are 52, and have gotten along just fine your whole life not running…not gonna start now!”

My daughter completed the 8 weeks in fine form, and made plans to attend a 5K event. I was stunned… “omg…really? You can go from a non-runner to a runner?? Just like that?!”

I was not a believer…but she lost so much weight doing it, and was energized, it seemed. She would post her little daily updates to Facebook- “Tasha just completed Week 5; Day 3 of the C25K…Running for a Cure.” And she looked amazing!

My internal voice was still scoffing when I downloaded the app.

“you can’t do this!! You have never been a RUNner!! You don’t RUN…not with scissors or any other way…let’s keep it that way!! We are happy with the status quo! Don’t upset things with this ridiculous notion to RUN!”

When I looked at the app for the first time, I was overwhelmed and mortified. In fact, I didn’t even listen to the first day, just scrolled thru it, and promptly hid it in the Entertainment cache of my phone… months ago.

But then I joined the fitness center- a good decision, but a story for another time! And there was that app still on my phone, and there was Tasha looking more fit all the time.  And I had the perfect place to try this…

“and fail!”, said my internal voice. “Just go ahead then! RUN! Try it, and find out you cannot keep up! RUN and get it out of your system, so we can get back to what we normally do at the fitness center…walk on the tread mill, and lift some weights for a few weeks…I have to keep reminding you, you don’t RUN!!”

The first day was not bad…pretty easy, in fact.  The second day was OK too.  By week 2, I felt like I knew what I was doing…I had a plan! In week 3, I was stunned that the workout went by so fast, and experienced my first ‘high’ from running.  Ran all the way through the lovely female voice saying “begin your cool down now” and beyond…it was glorious!  I felt powerful, and strong, and even, dare I say…athletic! (I have never felt athletic a day in my life!)

Over the weekend, while doing some pretty stressful paperwork, all I could think about was leaving the house and working out… this has never happened to me before… And I did go do my workout,  actually repeated one from the previous week, but ran longer and farther than I had before. Amazing feeling!

Today was Week 4, Day 1…and it kicked my butt! But I kept going and at the end, I felt like I had accomplished something!  I have learned to drown my internal voice with water during the workout…and besides, I have my headphones in my ears…and all I can hear from time to time is “RUN…RUN…RUN!”