focus…

I have a new book to read.  Its by Mary Pipher- she is the therapist who wrote Reviving Ophelia, and I loved her straightforward frank manner regarding what she really thinks about how we, as a society, raise girls.  So when I found this book- to new therapists- at the local library, I was excited to get home and check it out.

I came in the apartment, dropped my stuff and headed for my favorite chair to curl up with this new book…aahhnnn….trouble focusing…retrieved my reading glasses (yes, my perfect vision has failed me- I don’t want to talk about it) from the bedroom and sat down once more…seemed to be having difficulty getting started, couldn’t see the book- rearranged myself in the chair…moved again and realized that my focus was being interrupted by a 20 pound cat named Grisham who kept putting himself in my line of sight.  I moved the offending cat to the side of me, offering him the other half of the chair.  This was totally insufficient…he needed to be on my lap, “ok, be on my lap…but can you sit down on my lap?”…he couldn’t.  So I moved my book to the side and began to read with him standing on my lap, and the book propped on the arm of the chair.  Immediately there was a wall of cat hair in my mouth as he jumped to occupy the spot on the arm of the chair between me and the book.  He didn’t need my lap, he needed my attention…

who needs yours?

And yes, this has been written while looking between the four legs of my feline, who likes to sit on my chest…or my keyboard.

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don’t lose sight of the journey…

waking up today…in real time, thank you very much.  I really don’t like the “spring ahead, fall back” thing…I wish we just stayed with the same time all the time, so I wouldn’t have to figure out how to reset my new alarm clock, so my sensing of early dark and morning light didn’t get all mixed up, so my own rhythm would stay in place.

I lose my rhythm from time to time…do you? I ‘come to’ in the middle of waiting for a traffic light to change sometimes and think “what in god’s name am I doing here?…where is my ‘regular life’?…did I ever really have one?…”

and i have to remind myself- this is a journey…what you do along the way to make others feel better will come back to you, and you are responsible for living every day…you can’t blame someone else, if you don’t breathe in every moment– that is your own deal… be happy…and so today, I am doing things purposely to make me smile:

  • I drank my protein smoothie out of my favorite handblown glass tumbler, bought from a museum gift shop in Colorado…outrageously expensive…and I used a straw!
  • I went outside in the cold this morning and picked these rocks from beside the sidewalk to make affirmation rocks…just took my time, finding just the right ones that felt good to my hands.
  • I sat and spun some wool for a project before I cleaned house
  • I went back to bed with a 3rd cup of coffee, and read my book- at 10 am…sinful, I know 🙂

I am making the whole day about me…its OK to do that sometimes… 🙂

i made these to remind myself of the journey 🙂

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