Sometimes you have to climb…

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.  ~Anaïs Nin

Testing…

I took Journi to a new playground a few weeks ago.  There were new things there, namely a climbing wall.  Watching her negotiate it was amazing.  She looked at it from a distance for awhile, walked around it.  Soon she walked up and took hold of the footholds, almost as if testing them for strength.  She sat on a protruding edge, and felt the surface all the way around.  And then, almost without a backward glance, she began climbing.   When she was done, she had no fear of it, no worries and it became part of her play.  She found no need to conquer it anymore, she had found her way thru.

Considering the idea…

I have changed my life.  Thru a series of events that pushed me to act, to no longer settle for what was, but to reach for what could be, i packed up my favorite things and took a new job.  I moved 6 hours from where I have been for 12 years and found a new place to live.

To say that this is scary is an understatement.  Exciting, breathless, and sometimes lonely, that too.  I have not been without a husband and/or child(ren) since I was 19.  This is like leaving home for the first time, except this time, i don’t live in a dorm room and hoard extra change for postage stamps.

Sometimes you just have to begin climbing…

In retrospect tho’, now that I have been at my new residence for 2 whole weeks, I think I probably followed some of the same principles as Journi.  I considered this idea, living on my own, leaving the familiar, for months- even years.  I tested the strength of where I was heading, found a new job, doing something I have always wanted to do.  I backed away from the whole idea at one point, believing that I was probably crazy, and relegated myself to stay where I was.  But then I just started climbing…probably seemed sudden to some…but I had been contemplating the possibility for years.

I think the fear will go away in bits…I am finding my way thru…

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