When I am 50, I will wear brown, dammit!


Many years ago, when I was in my 20s, a woman I worked with told me I should never wear brown.  Her name was Eleanor, and she fancied herself an expert on “colors”.  She told me that I should never wear brown because it made me look old and fat (yes, these were her exact words).  I know, you are holding your hand over your mouth in horror…that a person could be so rude.  Well, here is the worst part.  I never wore brown again…I purged all brown items from my closet…and I never even questioned that what she said was rude, right, wrong or otherwise…I obediently never wore brown again.

My girls have tried to get me to wear brown bit by bit, saying nice little things about my skin tone, and my hair color…telling me that Eleanor didn’t know what she was talking about, and that I could wear any color I wanted. 

Wow.  I look back on that and I just want to chew out Eleanor and stand up for my younger meeker uncertain self… in my job I advocate for students, and I would NEVER put up with anyone saying anything like that to them, or to my daughters or to anyone I love- yet, not only did I let her say that, but I believed she knew me better than me.

Here is the lesson.  Don’t ever let anyone pretend to know you better than you know yourself! 

The hidden hook in this is that you need to know yourself.  You need to know your likes, and dislikes and what stirs your soul…what makes your day and who makes you smile…what is your dream trip and where do you stand politically…who do you believe in, both mortally and spiritually?  You need to know you, so that no one can ever tell you what is best for you- when it isn’t…

Create something today…something tiny, with a surprise in the middle.

Much love,                                                                                                      


PS.  Today is my 50th birthday and I am wearing brown.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tammy Williams
    May 16, 2011 @ 21:05:32

    Happy Birthday, Pat! Hope you had a great day!

    It’s so great to read your posts because it’s as if you are saying and feeling exactly what I think and feel about life!


    • vesselsandjourneys
      May 16, 2011 @ 21:22:43

      haha, thanks Tammy 🙂 I do try to write just how i talk…and truly, i think that 50 has been the most liberating birthday of all! the fluff is gone, if i don’t love it, i don’t have it in my house, if I don’t like a piece of clothing, i don’t wear it, if i don’t believe it, i don’t pretend to… i may be polite, and respectful, but i am a strong woman and make no apologies for that 🙂 It has been a long time coming, but i am here now 🙂 Thanks for reading!


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